much to my despair my hubby needs to occasionally go up to johannesburg for work. if i had my way he wouldn’t…. but as he is the only one with a paying job at the moment it’s probably best i don’t start making hectic demands but i am far from happy about the situation. as usual I call in my reinforcements in the shape of my pint size best friend. she has ‘protected’ me in all countries. of course the mind boggles as to what this maybe 45kgs bodyguard would actually do if we were attacked!!!??? the would be assailant would probably flick her off like a flea…. but that’s besides the point…. the fact that she is there gives me the much needed comfort that ms paranoid here requires! so 2 bottles of ‘ladybird laibach’ (the best wine ever – only available at woolworths for a whopping R79!!!)later j and I are passing out in bed when the next thing we hear running up and down the hallway outside. i freeze. j’s eyes flick open. we’re under attack! both of us lie there frozen (great bodyguard j is!!!) listening to what now sounds like an army of people immobilising up and down our hallway with a lot of shouting. i jump up to check my son’s door is shut and in the process try and peer through the stained glass door-frame and the security bars to try and see what was going on but i could only make out shadows flicking past. people are speaking, shouting orders, saying things but for what ever reason (alcohol, useless afrikaans) i can’t make out a single thing. the sirens start arriving one after the other. our flat transforms into a flashing blue & red trance club (the very loud music being provided ‘courtesy’ of the taxi-van who is jammed behind the sirens). things are not looking very good but i think the alcohol is helping numb the situation as neither my bodyguard nor I seem to be too stressed by the situation. admittedly we were quite perplexed when the word ‘DEAD’ started to be thrown around rather loudly….. i was going to investigate the following day as to what actually happened (always the nosey-parker) but my gut instinct told me that in this neighbourhood it was probably best to ‘mind one’s own business’ and so we left it at that….. the unsolved mystery!