i would definitely say my son’s nanny, c, is intelligent – otherwise i would never have employed her. i mean we aren’t speaking brain scientist here but then again neither am i…. we’ve had some great conversations on an entire variety of topics varying from the weather (she can without fail always predict it), south african politics (she is a born & bred capetonian but would much rather live in johannesburg as ‘cape town is for the whites & joburg is for the blacks’???) to starting up ones own business (which she hopes her son will do). So imagine my surprise when this conversation took place:

me: c, arent you worried about carrying all this cash on you at the end of the week (payday)? wouldn’t it be better if you got a bank account & we deposited the monies into it on payday?

c: no madam (as much as i’ve tried to ask her not to call me ‘madam’ in fact, i’ve practically begged her as amongst other things it makes me feel so friggin old!!!, she still insists) you mustn’t worry as on fridays i don’t go home by train i go home by taxi.

me: and the difference is?

c: well madam the totsies are on the trains not in the taxi’s.

me: what do you mean? are you saying the taxi’s are safer than the trains?

c: yes, these young boys have special powers.

me: (wondering where this is going…) c, what do you mean ‘special powers’?

c: these boys visit the witchdoctors and get these special armbands that they wear under their clothing. these armbands have special powers to alert them to when someone has got a lot of money on them. then they rob you. right there in the train. in front of everyone.

me: (i sort of laugh as i’m not too sure if c is taking the piss or being serious) are you sure about this c?

c: definitely! they pay a lot of money for these armbands. we are all very afraid of them.

me: (voice of reason) but c, surely you don’t really believe this. i mean how can an armband detect money.

c: madam it is for real. you do not understand the powers these people have. the armbands start to shake when they are near money.

i left the conversation here…. some things are just beyond even my comprehension.