what is it about coldplay? i mean they play good music, they play their own instruments, they write their own stuff (having said that even i must agree there’s a lot of u2 going on there), they are quite clearly successful & talented yet they happen to be one of the most excruciatingly boring bands i have ever watched. seriously i almost fell asleep. then again i am not quite sure what i expected from a band whose glastonbury rider for 2011 consisted of two crates of filtered mineral water, an unlimited supply of crudités and an “assortment of vegetarian, gluten-free dips”. what a waste, i could just cry!!!!

the last time i saw coldplay – well chris martin & jonny buckland – was in ‘le pain’ in marylebone where they sat opposite us at the ‘communal table’ with their kids. honestly that was WAY more entertaining than the concert we had to watch even if they were munching on carrot sticks & hummus!

i must admit i don’t actually own any of their music. i have also never seen them play ‘live’ (which is definitely saying something since seeing ‘live’ gigs is pretty much all i ever did in london). i certainly can hum along to one of their tunes if i hear it on the radio but my goodness watching them live…. pulling friggin teeth!!!!! it just never seemed to kick off. i kept hoping something would ignite & excitement would reign… well it sort of did for 5 minutes when they released giant beach balls into the audience… which i honestly believe was strategic to try & keep people awake!!!!!!

rather bizarrely a lot of the songs seems to have these quite big intro’s. i watched as the audience would jump up off their seats keen to get a bit of rowdiness going & perhaps even a bit of ass-shaking only for the ‘boom-boom’ to fade away in seconds leaving everyone quite deflated & standing around like spare tools finally resigning themselves to plonk down on their seats again. at one stage i felt like i was sat amongst a bunch of jumping jacks so eager were the audience for a bit of ‘va-va voom’ that if the tempo just picked up an inkling they were up out of their seats….. & sat back down within seconds…. one finds time to notice these things when one is on the brink of killing oneself out of boredom!

a live gig should be exciting, it should be thrilling, it should be unique, you should feel like you have just been part of a ‘one-off’….. i would hazard a guess that once you have been to a coldplay concert you pretty much have attended all of their concerts. in fact you may as well just put their cd on in your own living room (i for one can assure you that my living room is a hellava lot more fun than what i experienced at their concert) & of course if it’s in your own living room you have the added bonus of being able to turn the music down to ‘background’ music level & have a decent conversation to boot! it boils down to the fact that some bands are better live & well some bands are not. coldplay are not!

if you are a hardened fan i am sure you could force yourself to glaze over & sway to the music. i don’t sway. i once fell asleep at a ‘tony bennett’ concert in the royal albert hall…. i was surrounded by a blue-rinse brigade audience ‘swaying’ in their seats. having said that my mother-in-law (going on 60) a hardened tony bennett fan fell asleep at that concert too.

when discussing my opinion of this coldplay concert someone said that my husband & i missed the best part (we left halfway) as apparently there was a great fireworks display at the end….oh lordy lord!!!!!! then some little twirp threw back at me the comment that i obviously don’t know what i am talking about as quite clearly ‘the masses love coldplay’….. yeah right…… the masses also love primark……

coldplay in greenpoint stadium