i’ve been banging on about getting a blog for a while now….. eventually I get one…. and i don’t publish one bit of writing…. not even a word!!!???? anyhow they say that when you are faced with a blank canvas it is the most daunting – quickly do alight ‘wash’ over the entire white canvas and your fear will resolve into creativity….. as with writing i suppose the best thing is to just get some print on the ‘paper’ and away you go…. well I’m hoping that’s the idea anyhow! i suppose it doesn’t really help that i am completely computer illiterate…. so i find this all the more daunting…. so please excuse if this all seems rather amateurish…. i’m learning & well in no time i hope to be a whizz kid on this thing!

so where to start….. the point of the blog I suppose…..

well i left south africa 15 years ago to live in london. i LOVED living in london. i honestly never, never, never thought i’d see the day that i would find myself back living in south africa….. never say never….. because here i am!!!!

why did i leave south africa? on the brighter side…. having visited london previously i always thought i had been born in the wrong country (many of my friends like to think that i was in fact born on the wrong planet – but that’s another story for later….;-). i longed for the bright lights, the craziness, the high fashion, the creativity that london had to offer. i wanted to be part of the initial idea, not part of a bunch of people that seemed intent on just copying everything that was done overseas…. waiting for the ideas to be filtered down south and then posting them up as their own. rather bizarrely in such a richly talented country everyone just seemed to copy what the usa & uk did. there was very little support for our local talent in all aspects be it fashion, music, art etc….

the darker side was the crime and violence. it horrified me. being a naturally rather paranoid person didn’t help either. at first it was just a case of someone knowing someone who knew someone who had been held up / hijacked / robbed / raped etc…. but slowly it started to creep closer to home until it hit home. some disastrous things happened to very close friends & family of mine (i will leave the details out of this blog for respect to the STILL affected persons) and well i realised this was not a country that i saw my future in. i valued my freedom above everything else. there was no freedom here!

so after 15 amazing years in london, through various, rather unusual circumstances, i now found myself back in the country that i felt had really let me down. i didn’t want to come back, but perhaps this is an example of the strangeness of life’s circle…. perhaps this is fate dealing me a hand to make peace with the country of my birth. perhaps this is an opportunity to see south africa in a different light than to what i remember from all those years ago. perhaps the universe felt it was time for me to embrace my fear in order for me to realise what an amazing country i was born into. then again maybe i am here to realise that i definitely made the right choice leaving in the first place. i honestly don’t know.

i know that there are thousands of south africans scattered across the globe who left for the same, if not similar reasons as i did. i know there are many that long for the country, their loved ones, the life they once had. come along with me for the ride….. you might find it an interesting one on many levels.We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch - we are going back from whence we came. John F. Kennedy

this is my journey.


i am going to remain anonymous for these writings…. for various reasons…. but mostly because of my mom! she is beyond horrified that i have returned along with my husband and my baby son to south africa. my stories might be a bit ‘sensitive’ and I do not wish to cause her any more stress than she is already experiencing. most of you know me so well you’ll probably know just by my style of writing who I am….. please keep this to yourself!